


Jar Of Hearts

by rozyroe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, for Channie's birthday!!, im sorry the angst just happened on its own ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 11:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16174061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozyroe/pseuds/rozyroe
Summary: It doesn’t matter what day it is in the year, you can still wake up feeling like there is an ache deep within your bones that just won’t go away.





	Jar Of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my fic for Chan’s birthday! its not as long as I would have liked it but it is what it is. Also, I didn’t intend for it to be so angsty in the beginning but lmao here we are.

Chan’s dreams have always been..odd to say the lease.

 

When he was a child he would dream of incredible journeys as he would read in the multiple volumes of manga he owns. Sometimes his dreams would be more abstract, showing fantastical creatures that he thought off while daydreaming in class that day or just full of feelings. Colors and warmth.

 

As he got older, the various types of dreams he had lessened a little but never went away. They also changed as he understood the world better and experience more of what life had to offer. Sadly, that made it easier for the dreams to turn darker, to the point where he found himself shooting away with quick breaths.

 

Still, he likes his dreams even if they were a bit hard to handle sometimes.

 

Like tonight.

 

Tonight, he dreams of his mother’s voice through a cell phone, her face a shadow he hasn’t seen in months. He dreams of the backs of fellow trainees he would never see again. 

 

The loneliness of an empty dorm.

 

The dream takes a turn, the door of the dorm opened as his members ( _ his brothers _ by any other meaning) step inside. For a moment its warm, the dim lights of his own hopelessness igniting again. He finally gets a chance on stage.

 

Then Minho and Felix are dragged out the door by a force unseen, their eyes drowned in tears. Chan can only watch, his body frozen in place across the room. Suddenly, Felix is replaced by BamBam, then Yuchan, the number of people going on like its endless.

 

All the people who left him behind, even if they never meant to. His heart beats loudly in his ears, his own failures and loneliness choking him.

 

“-an?”

 

He looks up from his own shaking hands and around the room. Its empty again but this si the first time he has heard a voice.

 

“Chris?”

 

The tone is deeper than his own, a slight rasp to the voice. A brief image of sharp features and munchlaxes grazes over his eyes.

 

_ Changbin? _

His eyes snap open to the younger staring down at him from the side of the bed. 

* * *

 

Changbin has shared a room with Chan long enough to know that he snores quietly in his sleep and really likes to cuddle. Not that that last point means anything (not like he lays with the other on nights where he is feeling a bit out of sorts  _ of course not _ ) but it is something he’s noticed.

 

He also knows that Chan tends to dream, and his dreams are a little bit crazy sometimes. Still, he is also willing to sit on his bed while the older tells him fo whatever fantastical tale or odd creature he imagined while he sleeps. Sometimes Changbin wishes he had the kind of imagination Chan had.

 

Of course, there were times were Chan own imagination attack him in his sleep. It was never very violent but Changbin could hear when the other would wake up from a bad dream and sometimes he would try to comfort the older or just let him go back to sleep on his own if it wasn’t so bad.

 

He feels bad that Chan has a bad dream the night before his birthday. They had just gotten back from Indonesia a couple days beforehand and everyone ( while loving the convention and seeing more stays ) really missed their own beds. They all deserved a good sleep, Chan especially with his less than healthy sleep habits.

 

So Changbin can’t help but let out a soft sigh when he hears whimpering sound from the leader’s bed next to his. The older’s bad dream rarely went into nightmare worthy but they were always heartbreaking when it did happen. He sits up in bed and walks over to his leader’s side, hoping to wake him up before it got worse. That would be such a bad way to start a birthday.

 

Chan has his eyes closed tight and his jaw is tight with his clenched teeth. Changbin sets a hesitant hand on his shoulder and shakes him slightly. “Chan?”

 

There is is no response at first, he tries to call out his name again before trying something else. Though Chan is fine with his Korean Name, sometimes he just likes how the other call him Chris, a glimpse of home if you will.

 

“Chris?”

 

That’s what does it as Chan’s eyes snapped open, Changbin moves his arm away just in cause but finds that the older doesn’t move much. He takes a moment to let Chan get his breathing back under control before the older is sitting up in bed with a small groan.

 

“I'm Sorry,” Chan says once he realizes what happened “Did i wake you?”

 

Changbin looks tot he clock beside Chan’s bed and shakes his head with a smile.

 

“Nah, I just wanted to be the first one to wish you a Happy Birthday.”

 

Chan gave him a bewildered look before turned to look at the clock. The digital red numbers said 12:03, officially making it October 3rd.

 

“Oh. Thank You.” Chan answers, his voice still not sounding quite as chipper as it normally is.

 

“Chan? You Ok?”

 

“I mean-”

 

The door to their room barged open scaring both the boys as Jisung came in followed by the others, cake in hand. Jisung’s mouth was open to start singing before he caught the somber look on Chan’s face.

 

The leader didn’t seem in the mood for festivities at the moment so the candles on the cake were quickly blown out before Jisung sets the cake down on the bedside table. 

 

“Chris? What’s Wrong?” Felix asks from behind Jisung.

 

Chan sighs. They made an agreement not to keep their feelings hidden from each other, especially after he almost collapsed a few months ago because he was too stubborn to tell the others about it. He knew he could trust them, even if they didn’t fully understand it.

 

“I...Thank you for coming to wish me Happy Birthday.” He says first, getting the easy words out of the way before continuing “I just don’t feel so great right now, i had a bad dream that kind of got to me. I hope this doesn’t ruin anything.”

 

Right now Chan just wants to lay down again (though he isn't sure if he wants to sleep, risk being drowned in his own bad memories)

 

Woojin steps out from the side of the little group, coming to squat down in front of Chan. He grazes his fingers over Chan’s knuckles in a soothing motion before gripping his fingers.

 

“That’s ok. Thank you for tell us the truth. Do you want us to go?” He asks just a softly as his actions.

 

Chan thinks about it and realizes that the others leaving would just make him feel vulnerable than he already was. He shook his head. 

 

Woojin looks around the room a minute before standing up to wisper something to Changbin that  Cha couldn’t hear. Changbin listens for a moment before nodding in agreement and sending a small smile to Chan.

 

“Changbin is gonna stay with you for a bit. We’ll see you both in the living room in like..20 minutes ok?”

 

The others look confused at the oldest before he waves them off in a way that says he will explain to them later. Chan also wants to ask what is going on but decides to just trust Woojin and nods again.

 

“Cool. see you in a bit!”

 

And with that Woojin drags the rest out of the room and its quiet again. Chan sighs and Changbin just leads his body on top of Chan as a way of comfort.

 

Chan drifts off in a daze for those 20 minutes before Changbin his motioning for him to get up. It takes some effort to actually get out of bed and throw on a pair of sweats over his boxers before heading out into the living room.

 

He lets out a little gasp at what greets him.

 

The living room has been transformed into what could only be called as a giant Pillow fort. Blankets and various pillowed are laid out on the floor and the couch is pushed a little off to the side to give them more room but a variety of chairs are situated near the edged of the room to hold the larger blanket that acts as the room of it all in place. He can help but form a small smile despite his still lackluster mood.

 

Jeongin’s head pops out of one of the corners of the Fort before motioning the two inside. Changbin smiles to Chan before grabbing his hand and dragging him around the room to the “entrance” of the fort and crawling inside.

 

Chan follows him in and it greeted with his members lays out on the massive pile of blacks and pillows. There are some snacks also laying about as Hyunjin stuffs his face with some honey crackers.

 

The leader looks to his members and feels his mood lift just slightly, enough to earn another smile to them.

 

“Snuggle Pile?” Jisung asks him with a grin.

 

Chan nods “Snuggle Pile.”

 

There is alot of rearranging after that, some complain about feet being pressed into ribs and elbows into necks before they all get comfortable. Chan is in the middle of this pile, Minho as his back and Seungmin curled up to this chest. The others all rest for him as best they can. His heart starts to warm from the cold depths of his dreams isolation.

 

Its all quiet for a while before Felix starts off singing happy birthday, the deep timbre of his voice soft in the dark of the night.

 

The others soon join in, their collective harmonies soothing Chan into a more restful sleep.

 

His dream does come back, but this time there is no force to take his family away, but the door opens to a burst of color that thrums through his skin and bone. The Dorm bleeds away to a brightly light stage. He looks to either side of him to see his Members and the music of his hard work starts to sound around him.

 

He opens his mouth and sings with a smile that almost hurts his cheek. Its a pain he can live with.


End file.
